FORGIVENESS WILL SET YOU FREE

I want to try something new here, for the last few weeks, months, well for a long time now I have sat idle and felt sorry for myself. In my lifetime I have dealt with a lot of pain. Most of it was unnecessary and was brought on by myself. It may have seemed sometimes like it was caused by someone or something else, but it was my fault for allowing myself to be in situations that could hurt me in the first place. I have had a problem with not wanting to let go of the past, the good and the bad. So many things have happened in the past few years that have made me want to just give up. And there are so many things and times that I miss and wish I could go back to. KARMA was a bitch that bit me in the ass this yr. I lost 2 people that cared about me because of my stupidity and can no longer bear kids the normal way. But the only way to move forward is to start over and free myself from my past. And it’s time to move forward.
There are some people right now and some from the past who I would like to apologize to for my actions and tell them everything about me that is wrong. I would like to tell them that it's not good to be so prideful. Pride is an enemy of intimacy. I would like to tell them that me tearing others down and/or belittling them only shows who I really am. And my way of thinking and living is not right. I would like to tell them that me trying to make others feel shame and guilt is also a trait of the devil. I would like to tell them so much. But instead I want to try something new. Forgiveness. I apologize to you all for any pain that I may have put in your life.
I admit I have been wrong, stupid, hurtful, and sometimes just plain mean. But the best part of forgiveness is being forgiven. God has forgiven me. Now I'm asking everyone that I have ever hurt to please forgive me. I'm sorry. No matter how big or little the situation was please forgive me.
The past is the past. I realize that now. I can't change it, or bring something back that used to be, and dwelling on it or sulking won't do any good. I have no guilt. No shame. There is no point. What’s done is done. But what I can do is be the best person I can be and try my hardest not to cause pain to anyone else. I'm going to try my best to be positive. So with that said, I'm moving forward on my life path with a whole new perspective on life.
FORGIVENESS WILL SET YOU FREE

My understanding!

So the REAL ppl that knows me knows that ive just recently ended a very long and serious relationship in april and i said i was taking a break until i felt 100% ready for sumtin new. Now its mid september and i think i am ready for sumtin new. During my "break" I was just really tryna undertand men a lil more as well as women.

Women Are Too Clingy

There is definitely a difference between a women's mind states in relationships and men's and I am not in denial about what it is. Women are too clingy. We too often look for more emotional connections, for the one for a husband, while the man is just after the physical. That's the problem with a lot of us females, we get too emotionally attached to niggas, period. Whether we're in relationships with the guys or if it's somebody we're just fucking, we tend to act as if the boy owes us something just because we had sex with him, or just because he spent some money.

Ladies, never feel like you owe him anything, ever. If that nigga wanted to throw his money away that was on him, and if you wanted to have sex with the boy that's on you, but blaming the entire male race for you making a decision that you regret is crazy, and super clingy. Why should we be clingy when the man chases us, recognize your power ladies.

Whether he's your man or not, put you first.

A man is a man, nothing more nothing less

Niggas wanna connect with the cute big booty or big breasted bitch that make your size B cup look like an A. Females you know you get mad and jealous when u see that your mans "friend" looks better than you and that's why yall blow the situation out of proportion(suck that shit up). I don't let it worry me, at least the bitch was cute, that's how I feel cuz I know I'll be pissed off if I catch my man cheating on me with a bitch that look like she came from the morgue somewhere. If u think its something other than a physical connection females, maybe your jus not handling your business with your man. Every man needs eye candy every once in a while especially if your not communicating and being open as well as open minded towards your man.

Female society always describes male unfaithful behavior as being doggish, but to a certain extent, men are men. Studies show that men have a stronger biological urge to desire sex more than us, which means u cant stop it. No matter how much u fuck ur man, no matter how long yall been in a relationship, no matter the connection u have, u cant stop a mans genetic desire to want more than one woman.

Honestly, I feel that men are always being stereotyped for a behavior that's not very well understood. Males have been stereotyped for centuries as being cheaters, heart breakers, and dogs when really they should just be seen as males. Some males are better than others at fighting these urges til they die, many others give in to the urges. When we're with a man we're hoping that he is one of the strong ones, while never preparing ourselves for what if he isn't. And if he isn't one of the strong ones will you love him any less? Everybody couple's situation and commitment level is different. But for me personally, I basically expect a man to be a man, nothing more or less, so if he cheats, I'm not surprised, but that's me. If you got a dog, you got a dog, if you choose to stay with the dog learn how to bark with the dogs without getting bitten, if you're afraid to get bitten, I advise looking for bitchier men.

Women aren't perfect…

I'm a realist and being a real woman I feel that there are too many females acting as if they own a personal halo , if they do its prolly ran by batteries. When the topic of cheating is under discussion, we are always only referring to men. How I know? Because I'm a female and when I talk about cheating, I'm never talking about how down bad my friend was to what's his name. Straight up, I'm speaking to all the women in denial about the truth.

Too many females mess it up for the males that actually want to fight their natural urges and settle down, because bitches have the tendency to spread the word about niggas they use to deal with that cheated on them without giving the full story, there's two sides to every story, Every Story. And while I'll admit that I've been known to fuck over niggas that I'll admit didn't always deserve it but I'm a real woman, I can admit that. But there aren't enough real women that are ready to step up and take responsibility so these incidents with cheating men get blown up into ghost stories, while the stories of the "bad girls" just end up disappearing. Keep it real with yourselves ladies, you aren't perfect either

Grow some balls (Ladies)…

When a female first meets a guy she already thinking about 3 things: 1. All he want is sex, 2. I can't trust him, 3. He gonna cheat on me (you fucking up). Females are also taught not to kiss or have sex on the first date because the nigga wont respect you after that, or you don't wanna come off easy. That goes by the way you carry yourself. If you just throwing the pussy at him, 9x out of 10, you are gonna come off easy, or stupid…which to them means easy anyway.

Parents be fucking shit up too cuz by telling their daughters never to kiss or have sex they are acknowledging the males sexual needs as if he's something to be feared and respected in a way, without acknowledging that we have needs to. So the girl starts believing that her needs make her a hoe, and end up letting that build until she runs into that nigga that she's gon be dumb for (and there's always that one) and instead of having a healthy grip on how to control these need's, the girl falls for him, he drops her and she never gets back up, some hate men forever while other girls just hoe out. This gives women and men a bad name. A parent is suppose to teach their daughter, get her to feel comfortable about her body and her urges, so she won't let her a man or her vagina run her, her brain will always be the decision maker. And when you're in control, and not your emotions you can always make the decisions you want to make, but remember that means the only person you can blame for whatever decisions you make is You.

Now looking at things in a way where you make your own decisions, and not just following what your parents told you to do just because, I want to tackle the concept of putting a time limit on sex. Why force yourself to make a nigga wait months for sex if you know you really want to do it, within those months you've set to wait it out, u eventually start creating feelings for them without realizing it, and then what happens if the sex be whack when u finally give it to him. That would piss me clean the fuck off seriously. I made him wait all this while and he give me this, this NONSENSE. Fuck that. There's nothing wrong with fucking on the first date but at the same time don't be stupid. With all this talk about women's intuition, it's on you who you pick to spend your time with and in turn sleep with. There are some dumb ass females out there but I personally wasn't born with that trait, for the females who were, sucks for you, and maybe you shouldn't be reading this because you're going to get yourselves hurt. But for the women who have a handle on themselves, if a nigga is being very persuasive about sex, it's your choice (not society and not your parents) whether to do it or not, if the shit just happens, you want it and he wants it to, why wait? Ladies, grow some balls, don't let him dictate how the relationship will go all the time, if you just want his dick, get his dick and let him go. And I want to point out that I am directing this to the women that trust their minds enough to know that I'm not saying to be loose and slutty, I'm just saying that putting a time limit on sex is pointless if you plan to do him anyway. It's not about when you do it, it's understanding who you're doing it with, and if it's worth it to YOU, no one else.


Accept how your man is built…

No matter how much you try to argue the facts of why men cheat, you cant resolve them. Cheating is uncontrollable, everybody's does it. By making a big issue about it, your just widening the gap between the sexes. This is a common reason why women live in fear and get suspicious of her man cheating, whether he's cheating or not. I'm probably gonna get hated for saying this but females, its not the fact that your man is cheating, its learning to understand your man, he's your man, if your man is someone who can't just settle with one woman, and that's who you want to be with for whatever reason, you need to understand how he thinks and behaves. ( accept that shit or else Lol!).

Many men think their only line of defense is to be dishonest (unless the man is being totally 100% with you). Females think about it, if you go up to your man and just ask him if he's cheating on you, he's gonna tell you 'no'. So why ask?. If you're going to stick it out with this man, and we can't be in denial and act as if there aren't females sticking it out with men like, just learn to accept some things you don't know wont hurt you. The reason why he is gonna say 'no' is out of fear. Fear of a big ass argument, fear of losing you cuz he actually has feelings for you, or fear of you going to bitch mode. Every man hates when a female goes in bitch mode. On that note, a man has to deal with deceiving himself about his biological need for sex and to lie to the female he cares about because some females ironically want a relationship that's based on honesty. Personally I think everybody lies so don't count on being in a relationship that's based on complete honesty, that's just not human. When u ask your man is he cheating on you, you are putting forth a screwed up challenge with a double edged question. (Honestly it goes both ways, but we're talking about men right now)

To keep bullshit out of the relationship a man convinces his number one that she is the only person he will be having sex with. But in reality there's few (young) men that are really just interested in one person and one sexual desire. If he does, it only last the first six months of the relationship because his penis becomes stronger than his words. Why you think men visit the strip club, get involved in extra- martial affairs, watch porn or lives out his fantasies in his mind while he makes love to you? Because he got sexual desires that need to be met. That's just how he's built, if I'm being sexist so be it.

I know yall thinking that genetics isn't a good a excuse for why men cheat, and it isn't, because cheating is a choice, but I'm saying that the urge is genetic and no amount of vows, serious relationships or promises will stop an urge. Accept that your man will have these urges, understand who your man is, decide you are going to stay with him and work it out from there, that is how to be progressive, bitching about it won't solve anything.

DUCES (In closing)

You get married to get divorced, you get in relationships to break up, and promises are meant to be broken so fuck, let's stop wasting our time stressing over what can't be readily fixed, and let's start embracing our responsibilities, our insecurities, and our power, because women, we do have the power, and it may seem like I went easy on the men this time, but best believe I've got more to come, because I know that the day we realize how powerful we really are, is the day that the tears stop…for us anyway

I LOVE MEN, I just refuse to be stupid for them. Til next time, DUCES!!

STARTING FRESH!!

So... I'm writing this to say that I'm ready for the task at hand that i may have to endure .. and when i say task i mean moving forward with my life.. This year has been a worldwin for me but all i can do is thank the man above for getting me through the tuff times... i want to also thank the ones i love the most for staying by my side and supporting me through it all!!

I figured that since 09 is near that i would need to prepare myself for a second chance on life and for a new begining.. it's hard to start over with SUM new friends and a new enviornment, but i'm definitely keeping the ones that truly care and got real love for me close to my heart and never letting them go

never let hardships get the best of you .. because there is a light at the end of every tunnel .. so NEVER give up on life and your dreams...

Muah
THE UNDISCOVERED PLAYMATE

Closure!!

Sorry that its been a while....I need some closure to you crazy ass men!

I'm So Done!!!

As part of my promise to embrace my single status, I have been trying to really live life to the fullest. Recently I’ve been chilling with a dude I met at a party, the first time I’d been out and let my hair down in quite some time. We have many mutual friends so everything just fell in place. So when I met him I knew he was “occupied” so I asked my friend…lets jus call her The Enabler. She is sort of like my bad conscious, standing on my shoulder in her little red suit saying, do it, just do it, it’ll be FUN. So we’ve been chilling for a minute and things start off cool...but then things got a lil shaky when The Enabler said a lil too much.

So the other person finds out and now our situation seems to be a lil weird…HE IS STARTING TO TURN ME OFF!!! But what to do I can’t just say hey I can’t sleep with you anymore because you are so called “taken” because I knew the situation from the beginning! Now I just want you to understand that I just need space…HELL I want space to just be free because I’m done being sideline and I’m done being the other women…I just want to continue being single and being me!